I can't

Hello everyone.. Maaflah, sy ade masalah emosi sejak 2-3 hari ni.. Normal ke kalau took about 2-3 days utk healing process? OR a week maybe?

Saya memang rajin dan selalu ade mase utk dgr probs kawan-kawan.. Tapi my biggest problem is sy tak tahu nak ceritakan probs sy pada sape-sape. Anda boleh kate sy ni ego, sy ni ntah hape-hape but the reality is there. Bile nak share probs dgn member, automatically mulut tutup rapat! Dulu time high school, ade sorang ni pernah tuliskan cara-cara menyelesaikan masalah atas kertas A4 for my reference! Hahaha sy rase dalam 2 helai je.. Mane ntah dah campak kertas tu. Kelakar kan? Dalam banyak-banyak ways yg die suggest, sy buat 1 je. Tapi x menjadi sgt pun. HAHAHAHA ok ni cite mengarut. END.

I got the 2nd email from him this morning. But still, I can't let those feelings disappears. Every time I try, (I mean I tried really hard in the sense of forcing myself not to believe), baru half way tears flows down my eyes. Rase ni lain sgt la.. Rase sebak yang mencengkam. SAKIT, HURT, KILLING ME SOFTLY.

Seriously I don't know when this will end. Hopefully the recovering process won't take too long. Eventho u've promised to wait but I'm not so sure about it. I'm all alone and u think that we need each other but somehow, I know that this would not be the same anymore.

Macam mane nak start the conversation like normal? Should I just forgive him?

Jiwa ku yang suram
Malam yang panjang ini
Aku bersendirian
Merenung kehidupan
Memikir kesudahan
Pada siapakah hendak ku curah keresahanku..

Tanya pada hati tapi hati terus menyepi.

Tanya pada akal tapi akal tetap beku.